A Plea On Behalf of My Sanity

(note: the following is a piece of creative writing with the intention of making my roommate clean up his shit)

I couldn't have known it would have ended like this. It was so innocent. So simple. And now I huddle here, in the desolation that used to be the vibrant, active athletic center of my campus, armed with nothing but a rowing oar I found in the crew locker room. I fear I have little time. I chronicle the beginning of this event so that future generations can learn from our mistakes, and perhaps...blame someone.

We're college students. I mean, no one wants to wash dishes. Sure, when Quin ate that easy mac no one thought the bowl would be clean any time soon, but we couldn't have anticipated this.

Weeks went by. The bowl sat on the dresser top. It became almost a joke. "Oh yeah Quin it's cool, don't clean that bowl, it's practically part of the room now. Decorative!" Everyone laughed. No one is laughing now...they're all gone.

It started with the dreams. Horribly vivid scenes of cheese crusted bowls suffocating people by diving onto their faces like facehuggers from Alien. As one is wont to do, I just dismissed them as nightmares. I should have seen it coming. I should have stopped this. But I'd be damned if I was going to wash that dish. It wasn't mine, let Quin wash his own crap.

A few weeks later, I started hearing whispers in my ear. Malicious whispers. Their blood will be on your hands, Erich. It said. I was afraid, but what could I do? I couldn't tell anyone what was happening, they'd think I was crazy! Maybe I thought I was crazy too. Maybe that's why I didn't reach out. "Tomorrow I go home for Christmas break," I told myself. "Quin will clean the bowl before he leaves, I'll have a month off, and everything will be fine."

Upon returning to campus I met up with my roommate before even going back to the room. We had lunch and then decided to go back to our room. "It'll be nice to see the room without that stupid bowl of mac&cheese." I laughed.

"Nah, bro, I didn't have time to clean that thing before I left, so it's still in there." He laughed as he inserted his key into the lock. It was the last sentence he ever spoke.

He opened the door and some...thing attacked him. It was a golem made of cheese and fungus with razor sharp macaroni noodles for teeth. It's jaws closed around Quin's head and my roommate was no more.

Forgive me, I had little time, but this is essentially what it looked like. Terrifying I know.

The beast looked at me and I swear it grinned, it's teeth filled with the remains of my roommate. I cried out for help and began to ran. More people came into the hall to see what the commotion was about. I didn't look behind me as a ran, but I know they met the same fate as Quin.

It's been six days since then. I feel the beast has been purposely avoiding hunting me down. He's making me watch what I have wrought. Making me sit by and observe as everyone else on campus suffers for what I have done...or what I didn't do.

But campus is nearly empty, and he's running out of targets. It will be my time soon. I shall fight the beast to the best of my ability. I shall try to stop him. But he has grown too powerful, and I feel I shall join the ranks of the lost. And for this I am sorry.

(Sorry if this post is a little different from regularly scheduled content, but seriously Quin, clean your shit up. This bowl is going to achieve sentience soon, and if these events come to pass it will be all my fault. Hope you guys liked this)